All the Sikh ceremonies associated with moments like birth, marriage, death, Amrit initiation, etc. are simple, inexpensive affairs having a religious tone. They are always held in the presence of Guru Granth Sahib and comprise of taking a Hukumnama, Kirtan of appropriate hymns for the occasion, saying of Ardas during which Karah Parsad is offered by the concerned family. The ceremony ends with distribution of Karah Parsad to the congregation. The Amrit initiation ceremony described earlier is the most important of all Sikh ceremonies and involves a solemnity that is unique to it. We will now briefly describe some of the Sikh ceremonies.

Naming of a Sikh Child

This ceremony is associated with naming a child. It takes place in a Gurdwara in the presence of relatives and friends. The family offers donations, Karah Parsad and a Rumala which consists of four pieces of cloth of measured lengths used for covering Guru Granth Sahib. Prayers are offered asking for a special blessing of good health, long life and the strength to walk the Sikh way of life, Gursikhi, for the child.

After reciting Ardas, Guru Granth Sahib is opened at random. The first letter of the first word of the hymn on the page is selected as the first letter of the child's name. The given name is common for either sex. The word Kaur, meaning 'the prince' is added after a girl's name, and the name Singh meaning 'the lion' after a boy's. For example, if the first letter is "p" (Punjabi letter "P"), the male child may be given a name like Partap Singh or Pritam Singh or Puran Singh or any other such name beginning with the letter "P". If the newly born is a girl the name would like wise be, Partap Kaur, Pritam Kaur or Puran Kaur.

When the name is selected by the family, the congregation gives approval by a coollective Jaikara (or cheer) : 'Jo Bolay So Nihal ! Sat Sri Akal !' The ceremony ends with the distribution of Karah Prasad, and the placing of the Rumala over Guru Granth Sahib. Sometimes, sweets or Langar from the Guru's kitchen, is served but this is not a part of the ceremony.

The Sikh Marriage

Sikh marriages are usually arranged. However, people in Western societies do not always properly interpret the word ‘arranged’. An arranged marriage does not mean forcing a boy or a girl into a wedlock of parents' choice. It is agreeing to a marriage proposed by mutual discussion between the boy or the girl on one side and his or her parents and relatives on the other. This is in fact selecting the right partner from a number of choices or proposals. The system evolved when the marriages usually took place when the bride and groom happened to be just children. The parents would then decide for their children who their life-partner would be. As the custom of child-marriage has become obsolete for more than a century now, the system has evolved in such a way that without the consent of both the bride and the groom, no marriage is formalized.

Several criteria are usually adopted before making a marriage proposal. Most important are the boy and girl themselves who show their willingness only after taking into account, personality, family background, educational standing and physical appearance of the proposed partner. Generally, relatives or close family friends suggest a suitable boy or girl who is known to them, to the family. The boy and girl then get to know each other to convey their consent to their parents.

The Sikh marriage is monogamous by choice. This monogamy does not have any religious significance, so polygamy or polyandry is not held to be against Sikh principles, provided the persons involved are all consenting parties. In the case of broken marriage, divorce is not possible according to the Sikh religious rites. The couple can, however, obtain a divorce under the law of the land. To understand this, one needs to imbibe the significance of the concept of marriage in Sikhi. Marriage, in Sikhism, is regarded as a sacred bond which is solemnized for attaining worldly and spiritual joy. About the ideal marriage, the Guru says: "They are not husband and wife who only have physical contact; rather they are wife and husband who have one spirit in two bodies."

The Sikh marriage ceremony is called Anand Karaj meaning 'ceremony of bliss'. The fourth Guru, Guru Ramdas, is the composer of Lavan, the hymn listed in Guru Granth Sahib which is read to solemnize a Sikh marriage. This hymn celebrates a holy union between the human soul (Atma) and God (Parmatma). The Guru states that the real marriage of a being, the bride, is to Waheguru, the groom, and that ideal should be followed in the Sikh marriage too. It should also be pointed out here that the Guru is not saying that in a Sikh marriage, the Man should be equated with God, or that serving her husband should be taken as akin to serving God. Nothing could be farther from truth. What the Guru talks of is the communion between man and God, using the analogy of husband-wife relationship. The Sikh ideal of marriage is a union between man and woman through communion with Waheguru. This is why there is no place for a divorce in a Sikh marriage, because a divorce signifies break of communication, a move away from Waheguru, hence between marriage partners. We can say that a move away from Waheguru automatically annuls a Sikh marriage. The four verses of Lavan explain the four stages of love and married life. The first verse emphasises the performance of duty to the family and the community. The second verse refers to the stage of yearning and love for each other. The third verse refers to the stage of detachment or Virag. The fourth verse refers to the final stage of harmony and union in married life during which human love blends into the love for God.

Based on the concept depicted in Lavan, the Sikh marriage is not merely a physical and legal contract but is a union between two souls, where physically they appear as two individual bodies but in fact are united as one. The bride's past and present become the bridegroom's past and present and vice-versa. Thus, her present becomes his and vice-versa. They feel each other’s pain and happiness and feel each other’s thoughts thus becoming completely identified with each other, i.e., they become 'Ek Jot Doe Murti' meaning one spirit in two bodies.

The marriage ceremony is conducted in a Gurdwara. A priest or any Sikh (man or woman) may conduct the ceremony, and usually, a respected and learned person is chosen.

First Asa di Var (morning hymns) and then hymns appropriate for the occasion are sung while family, friends, guests and groom arrive. The groom is first seated before Guru Granth Sahib and when the bride comes she takes her place on his left. The couple and their parents are asked to stand while the rest of congregation remains seated. An Ardas is then performed, invoking His blessings for the proposed marriage and asking His Grace on the union of the couple. This connotes the consent of the bride and the bridegroom and their parents. The parties then resume their seats and a hymn is sung.

This is followed by a brief speech addressed particularly to the couple, explaining the significance and obligation of the marriage. The couple is then asked to honour their vows by bowing together before Guru Granth Sahib. Then the bride's father places one end of a pink or saffron-coloured scarf in the groom’s hand, passing it over his shoulder and placing the other end in the bride's hand. Thus joined, the two are ready to take the vows.

This is followed by a short hymn. Guru Granth Sahib is now opened and the first verse of Lavan is read from it. The musicians then sing the same verse, while the couple slowly circumambulates Guru Granth Sahib. The groom leads in a clock-wise direction and the bride, holding the scarf, follows as near as possible in step. When the couple completes the round and comes in front of Guru Granth Sahib again, they both bow together and take their respective seats. The same protocol is repeated for the remainder three verses. The ceremony is concluded with the customary singing of the six stanzas of the Anand Sahib, the Song of Bliss, followed by Ardas, and Vak, a random reading of a verse from Guru Granth Sahib. The ceremony, which takes about an hour, ends with the serving of Karah Parsad to the congregation. Relatives and friends then exchange greetings and congratulatory wishes. A few hours after the marriage the bridal party or Doli leaves and the bride departs from her parental home for her husband’s house.

The Death

Birth and death are seen as closely associated because they are both part of the human life cycle, Ava Gavan, which is seen as transient stage towards Nirvana, complete unity with God. But Sikhs do not believe in the concept of reincarnation, as it is understood in Semitic and Hindu religions. (For more information on the Sikh view, see the section on Reincarnation in Sikhism.) Mourning is, therefore, discouraged, especially in the case of those who have lived a long and full life. The death ceremony may be split into two parts : Saskar, the cremation, and the Antim Ardas, the final prayer at the end of the Bhog ceremony.

At a Sikh's death-bed, relatives and friends read Sukhmani Sahib, literally the Jewel of Peace, composed by the fifth Nanak, Guru Arjan, to console themselves and the dying person. When a death occurs, they exclaim 'Waheguru', the Wondrous Lord. Wailing or lamentation is discouraged. For cremation, the body is first washed and dressed in clean clothes complete with the Five K's (in case of initiated Sikhs). If the death occurs in a hospital, the body is taken home for the final view of the relatives and friends before the cremation. In Punjab, body is usually burnt on the funeral pyre, but in Western countries crematorium is used. A prayer is said before the start of the cremation to seek salvation for the departed soul. On arrival at the crematorium, a brief recount of the good qualities of the deceased is generally given, the Sohila, bedtime prayer, is recited and the Ardas, is offered. The eldest son or a close relative generally lights the pyre. Where cremation is not possible, disposal of the dead body by placing it in the sea or river or any other suitable way is permitted. At the end of the cremation the members of the funeral party return to their respective homes.

The ashes are collected the day after cremation and later disposed of by immersion in the nearest river or sea. Some families, living outside India, prefer to take the ashes to Punjab. Sikhs do not erect monuments over the remains of the dead.

The second part of the ceremony is called Antim Ardas, performed during the Bhog ceremony that comprises of a complete reading of Guru Granth Sahib either at home or in a Gurdwara. This is called a Sahaj Path, and is usually completed within ten days. If the family can read, they must take part in the reading, if they cannot, they must sit and listen to the recitation of Gurbani. The reading is meant to provide spiritual support and consolation to the bereaved family and friends. During Ardas, the blessings of God for the departed soul are sought. The Gurus emphasised the remembrance of God's Name as the best means of mitigating the loss of a beloved one for the bereaved family. Sikhs are always exhorted to submit to and have complete faith in the Will of God, called bhana mun’na

Generally, all relatives and friends of the family gather for the Bhog ceremony on the completion of the reading of Guru Granth Sahib. Musicians sing appropriate hymns, for example Saloks of the ninth Nanak and Ramkali Sadd are recited. After the final prayer, the Hukam is taken, and Karah Parsad is distributed to the congregation.

If the deceased person is elderly, Langar is served. Gifts too are sometimes distributed to the grandchildren, symbolizing that they are lucky their grandparent lived to a ripe old age. Donations are often announced for charities and religious organizations. Sometimes, especially in Punjab, at the end of the Bhog, eldest member is presented with a turban and declared the new head of the family.