Contd....

Bicky: "Dad, why have you and mum cut your hair and why is my hair and Simi's hair cut even though we are Sikhs. Look at Uncle Mukhtiar, Aunty Banto and Satnaam. Satnaam has such beautiful long hair!"

Balbir: "Bicky, this is no time to discuss that."

Granddad finally spoke: "And why not, Beta (son)? I think we have plenty of time to discuss such matters. After all, we are talking about richness and poverty."

Balbir was uncomfortable. The subject had never ever come up between his father and him since he cut his hair while doing medicine in India.

"Bapu Ji, things were very hard in India. Our schedule was very tight and the climate was very harsh..." began Balbir trying to choose his words carefully, "I developed a rash in my head, sores developed and it was on medical advice that I cut my hair."

"And are the circumstances the same now?" asked Granddad with a smile. Balbir steadied himself and knew that whatever had remained unsaid between him and his dad all these years will have to be cleared. There had always been a barrier between them both since he came back from India and he knew it was because he had cut his hair.

"OK. The reason why I cut my hair was because I could not see the relevance between hair and being a good Sikh. I can be a good Sikh at heart even though I do not have my hair," blurted Balbir, trying to sound as convincing as possible.

Simi: "And how are you a good Sikh, Dad?"

Balbir: "Simi, I do not do anyone any harm. I do service to my patients and I am an active member and contributor of the Rotary Club, which supports many charities and carries out welfare projects. We are always contributing towards charitable causes."

Simi: "But Dad, does that make you a good Sikh? Millions of non-Sikhs do that. That does not make them Sikhs, does it?"

Balbir, in exasperation: "Look, I do not see the relevance of hair in the modern day and age. It had a relevance three hundred years ago, not today! I categorise myself as a 'sehajdhari' Sikh. Uncle Mukhtiar is an 'amritdhari' Sikh. But we are both Sikhs!"

Bicky: "But is it not like a uniform? To say that you are a Sikh and that you live by Sikh principles and belong to the Sikh religion and are a devotee of God through Guru Nanak, like Uncle Mukhtiar is?"

Balbir: "Look, I am no different from Uncle Mukhtiar except that he keeps long hair and beard. In fact, I am sure I contribute more to charity than his futile attempts at feeding fifty old age pensioners every Saturday and going to gurdwara to eat prashad and langgar!"

Simi: "But Dad, besides serving fifty senior citizens, he also goes every Sunday, early morning to do seva at the gurdwara. He also does counselling at the prison. He does Nitnem and Prakash and Samapti every day. He is always available for service to anyone who needs it. In fact he told me that he goes to places where children are known to have been mugged so that his very presence there as a Sikh would help avert trouble. Surely that is what being a Sikh is all about, isn't it? And surely that also shows why long hair is so important Dhadha Ji says that hair is a gift from Waheguru Ji ...".

Balbir turns angrily to his dad: "So, Bapu Ji, you have been turning my children against me behind my back, haven't you?"

Grand-dad looks calmly at his son : "Beta, you are the one who sends Simren and Bickram to me to teach them about their background. I am afraid their background is Sikhi and that is what I have been teaching them."

Bicky: "And Dad, why am I called Bicky when my name is Bickram and Simi is really Simren? Only Dhadha Ji calls us by our proper names."

There was silence in the car again. Balbir's anger subsided and he began reflecting on his life and knew deep down that changes will have to be made, because his logic for the way he lived his life seemed rather empty. His children had reached an age where they were questioning his values - something he himself had never bothered doing. If not for himself, he will have to change and make changes for the sake of his children who he loved very much. He glanced at his father from the corner of his eye. Grand-dad had his usual calm and serene look - nothing seemed to faze him.

Grand-dad looked at his son calmly and spoke: "Children, circumstances of life change. Uncle Mukhtiar chose to live the way his father had lived. He was happy not to question the way of his ancestors and lives accordingly though he has not done well materially like your Dad. As you say, I think he has found his happiness through being content with what he has."

Grand-dad continued: "Your Dad mentioned Sehajdhari Sikh and Amritdhari Sikh. There are two more categories of Sikhs - the 'Keshadhari's' and the 'patit's'. Let me define them to the best of my knowledge. An Amritdhari Sikh is one who follows his Guru Ji's commands, has partaken of 'amrit' and follows the path of a Khalsa. A Keshadhari Sikh is one who follows all the commands of his Guru Ji but has not yet partaken of 'amrit' and become a Khalsa.

Now a 'sehajdhari' is one who comes from a non-Sikh background and is interested in becoming a Sikh. He is taking the first step of finding out more about Sikhi and has started practising the religion in terms of doing Nitnem and Babe-dha-Path, Gurbani Kirten, goes to gurdwara, does seva and listens to discourses on Sikhi. A great number of Hindus are also 'sehajdharis'.

A 'patit', finally is one who has been a Sikh or who was born in a Sikh family and has turned his or her back on the Guru Ji and the Guru Ji's commands. Material progress is very important but I believe living the life of a Sikh is what has been granted to us and we have to practice that to make this life meaningful. We should firstly study our religion and the lives of our Guru Ji's and then decide whether that is the ideal life or do we just want to have plenty of money so that we are materially comfortable. A balanced life style which takes care of our physical, mental and spiritual needs is, I believe very important and fulfilling. My life's experience is that there was a divine reason why I was born a Sikh. I belong to my Guru Sahibans and I have found peace and contentment in Sikhi. Each of us has to make these decisions. Your father has made great material progress and given both of you all the necessities and also luxuries of life. Uncle Mukhtiar has made his life the way he wants to lead it. I think he has provided his wife and his daughter with all the basic necessities but also a sense of value through Sikhi. Now you, our next generation, have to make your decisions. There is no 'glamour' in being a Sikh but will you find a sense of happiness, contentedness and fulfillment in Sikhi, or do you just relentlessly pursue your materialistic aspirations - to be very rich? Will you find true happiness in that? I believe you must keep a strong balance. I think one's final achievement in this life is to be of use to fellow human beings and humankind through Sikhi - following the path laid down by our Guru Ji's. For that we must develop a sense of belonging and pride for our Guru Ji and Sikhi. I have always been proud to have been born a Sikh and I shall die a Sikh. I have and always shall belong to my Guru Ji and to do that I must obey what he has decreed for me."

There was silence as grand-dad's words slowly sunk in. Then Bicky spoke "I wonder who really is rich and who poor, Dad."

The silent purr of the Merc's engine was noticeable as they headed south to Singapore ... and home. The occupants reflecting on their conversation and what they had learnt on a very eventful holiday and especially on the journey home about being rich, or poor.

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